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From a Childhood of Chaos to a Motherhood of Intention
⚠️ Trigger Warning
This post includes mention of childhood abuse and emotional trauma. Please take care of yourself as you read.
Introduction
If you’re a mom who has lived through trauma—whether from childhood or a toxic relationship—you’re not alone. I see you. This blog post is a piece of my heart, written for the women like me who have known what it’s like to grow up in unsafe environments and have made the quiet but powerful decision to do things differently.
In this post, I’m sharing my story—how I grew up in an abusive home, how motherhood shifted everything for me, and how I made the choice to live on purpose. I’ll also talk about how to raise emotionally healthy kids even when you didn’t have the best example, and how you’re never too far gone to begin again.
My Childhood Wasn’t a Dream—It Was a Warning
If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that my childhood wasn’t exactly the dream scenario. Actually, it was quite the opposite.
Every day, I lived under the weight of unwelcomed emotions and was often placed in incredibly unsafe situations. At the time, I didn’t know anything different—so I didn’t realize just how dangerous and heartbreaking it really was. Years later, when I casually shared stories from “when I was a kid,” it finally hit me: that wasn’t normal. That was abuse.
Even though I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me back then, I did know one thing for sure—I never wanted to repeat it. I never wanted to create a home that felt like that. I was determined that when I was the adult, when I got to make the rules and set the tone, things would be different.
Becoming a Mother Gave Me a New Mission
As soon as I could, I left that awful house. And not long after, I was given the incredible gift of becoming a mother.
Holding my first baby in my arms, I felt an overwhelming sense of purpose. I wanted more than anything to create a home for him that was loving, safe, and peaceful. That became my top priority: to make sure he felt unconditionally loved every single day.
For me, this came naturally. I think I was just born with a protective heart. And knowing what I never wanted to repeat gave me clarity. I let go of the hate and judgment that had followed me for so long. I looked at that little baby and thought, How could anyone ever hate or hurt something so innocent?
As my family grew and I welcomed more babies, my love only expanded. People joked that I just got “easy kids,” but the truth is—I never struggled to love them. I believe babies come into this world perfect, and it’s what they experience that changes them. I made it my mission to protect that perfection as much as I could.
Helping My Children Navigate a Complicated World
Of course, I can’t shield my children from every negative experience, but I can help them make sense of it. When hard moments happen, I ask them reflective questions:
- What can you learn from that person’s point of view?
- How did that situation make you feel?
- Did you like the way it made you feel?
- Do you want to repeat that, or choose something different?
These are the same kinds of questions I’ve asked myself over the years. I want my kids to understand they have power—even if they can’t control the situation, they can choose how they respond to it. They can live on purpose.
What If You Didn’t Get the Best Start?
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, That sounds beautiful, but I didn’t get a great start. Am I just doomed to repeat the cycle?
I don’t believe you are.
I didn’t have the option of just leaving or finding a better situation when I was a kid. And maybe, right now, you don’t either.
Maybe you still find yourself in a hard or even unsafe situation—whether it’s emotional, financial, or something you feel trapped in. If that’s you, I want you to hear this:
There is hope. And there is help.
Even if you can’t leave yet, even if your outside circumstances haven’t changed—you can still begin to change inside. You can begin to imagine something better. You can begin to believe that you are worthy of safety and love. And you can begin to make choices, no matter how small, that keep your heart soft and your hope alive.
One day, while talking with a dear friend who had been through years of abuse, I found myself saying the words Live On Purpose. Her past had been heavy—full of trauma, lost choices, and situations that were never her fault. Even though she was free in the present, she still felt trapped by the voices in her head that echoed the abuse. She couldn’t escape the lies she had been told about herself.
I told her what I’ve come to believe deeply: it doesn’t matter how good or bad your past—or present—has been. What matters is what you choose to do today. Because healing doesn’t always wait until your situation changes. It starts with one small, sacred choice: to live on purpose, right where you are.
A Note on Hope and One Book That Changed My Perspective
As a side note, I want to share something that really shifted the way I think about hope. In her book The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins describes hope in a way I had never considered before—and it honestly changed everything for me.
Instead of viewing hope as just a passive feeling, she frames it as something active—something that pushes us toward action and change. That clicked for me in such a big way. Hope isn’t just sitting around wishing for better; it’s choosing to believe that better is possible and then taking small steps toward it.
This book helped me tremendously, especially during seasons when I felt stuck or unsure of my next move. I highly recommend giving it a read or even listening to the audiobook. I love discovering resources like this—ones that give me a new lens to view life through and confirm good ideas I’ve already been exploring.
Today Is the Day You Can Begin Again
No matter what’s happened to you, no matter what choices were stolen from you—you are not powerless now. You can decide, today, to take back your voice. To create new patterns. To choose peace, safety, and love. For yourself. For your children. For your future.
You may not have had a perfect beginning. But you can have a beautiful, intentional life moving forward.
Live on purpose. You’re worth it.
🌿 Try This Today
Sometimes, the smallest shift can be the start of the biggest change.
Write down one word that you want your home to feel like.
Safe? Warm? Joyful? Calm?
Now ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to help create that feeling—for me and my kids?
You don’t have to fix everything overnight. You just have to take the next loving step.
💛 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.
Leave a comment below and share what part of this story spoke to you, or tell me about your own journey of healing and motherhood.
And if you’re looking for a safe, supportive space to continue these conversations with other women who get it,
join my community where we talk about healing, conscious motherhood, breaking generational cycles, and living a life full of purpose.
A Final Word from Me to You
I’m not a perfect mom. I’m just a mom who decided to do it differently.
I’m a woman who lived through the hard stuff and chose to build something softer, safer, and stronger for the next generation.
If I can live on purpose, so can you.
And you don’t have to do it alone—we’re in this together.
Let me know if you’d like a content upgrade (like a downloadable reflection worksheet or journal prompt set), a shareable quote graphic, or even a short Instagram caption to go with this post—I’d be happy to create that for you too!
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